Day 4 - The story of the sad, little tent

When I got to the ironwood tree last night, the tent was collapsed, just flat against the earth. No life to it. It feels like I should share its story.

Two summers ago, I was camping in Maine. I was right at the water’s edge, by a rocky little beach. It wasn’t dark yet and I heard splashing - what was that? I went out to investigate. I could hear it but couldn’t see anything. I followed the sound. It led me to an old well that was at the edge of the beach - right where the land started. As I peered into the shallow hole, I was horrified at what I saw. There were several ducks upside down in the water, kicking their legs and splashing and there was a mink on the land. When the mink saw me, it looked right at me and made a “hssssss” aggressive sound at me. I was horrified and terrified. I had no idea that a little mink would be so scary. I retreated as fast as I could and guess what? The mink came after me! I ran into my tent and when I looked out the mink was right there! I tried to shoe it away. I quickly took the tent stakes out of the ground and dragged my tent “as is” across the earth and way from this site. There was absolutely zero percent chance that I would be able to sleep there.

In the process, I snapped the poles that hold the tent up. I tried to find new tent poles to replace them and couldn’t find them from the manufacturer of the tent so I measured them, and went on Ebay and bought some. But they just weren’t quite as long as needed. So the tent, while it functions, it slouches, it slumps - it now appears to be a sad, little tent. I left the tent in Hawaii and got a new one for other use but seeing the tent lying on the earth like that - it made me think of trauma and the impact it has on a being. When I witnessed the mink murdering the ducks, I went into fight or flight and broke my tent in the process. The tent was traumatized. As a result, it lost its grounding - it lost its foundation - it’s root chakra was impacted - it’s sense of safety and security. So when the wind blows - it can’t take it - it falls down flat - lifeless.

This is what trauma can do to people. It makes the structure feel less strong and stressors can knock it down. And that’s where healing comes in. And a spiritual practice. Writing. Healthy food. Friends. Staying in the moment. Breathing. Gratitude. And we love the little tent. We hold it close.

I love you little tent. We have had amazing adventures together and you have held me safe while I faced my fear of being alone in the dark. I’m sorry that your poles got snapped. It rained last night and I had to get into the tent again - it was so deflated from the wind that it felt like I was sleeping in a tarp practically - ha. But it kept me dry and all was well. Sat nam, truth is my identity.

Owl - The moon will be full tomorrow! It was bright in the sky so I headed back to the cabin a teeny bit before the sun started to peek in from the east. I was passing by the long row of Coconut Palms that are wind barriers and was thinking to myself, “I didn’t see the owl this time.” And right when I had that thought - there was the “Screeech!!!” from what felt like - right next to me. I think the owl was in one of the palms. Thank you Owl.

Kriya - Kriya for Health and Openness (from a yoga studio that I do not know. thanks!) Felt hard - stomach work, grounding and nervous system.

Mantra - Same - Ek Ong Kar, Mul Mantra, Ganpati Mantra and chanted Akaal for a friend and her husband.

Meal time - Oatmeal with Banana, black beans with salad and corn tortilla.

Inspiration - Tommy Rosen and Recovery 2.0 - Tommy Rosen is a recovery expert who sees addiction as a vibration, as a frequency. He uses Kundalini as one of his strategies for living a life that is beyond recovery. I purchased and practiced his “Wake up and Thrive” series - 33 Kundalini yoga classes - this and many other offerings are on his website. His podcast, In the Circle, shares an inquiry brought from a community member to Tommy Rosen for discussion.

PS - I researched minks and found that they kill the duck by biting it in the neck or brain. I don’t even want to type that. Learn more here.