Day 3 - Wind and Owl
“ There were occasional dark clouds passing by overhead. I felt their density and heaviness and noticed that while ominous in look and feel - they moved through and onward. A good reminder of storm clouds in our lives - we feel their heaviness, the density and we can trust that they will pass by.”
Two years ago, I put on my phone after my vision quest to take a few pictures and then quickly turned it off. The braids are on my mind right now. I haven’t cut my hair in years. I love my braids, even though my hair is thin. But lately, I’m wondering if I should shed some of them (I don’t feel ready to shed all of them.) Cutting the braids as an offering, is a physical way to release the past. Braids and hair are attenas and I really value them - but at the same time - history is held in these braids and I want to let some of my past go. The last time I did this was after a long period of mourning my first baby, Joe’s, death.
It was about as windy as I have experienced wind to be - last night. I felt vulnerable sleeping on the earth. I lay on the tall grass, now a flattened patch, snuggled in my down sleeping bag with a Labradorite stone in my hand - given to me by my current Air BNB - Emily. Labradorite is helpful. It provides protection from negative energy and helps you remain grounded.
The moon will be full in two days - on February 24. I bathed in the moonlight in the clear night sky. There were occasional dark clouds passing by overhead. I felt their density and heaviness and noticed that while ominous in look and feel - they moved through and onward. A good reminder of storm clouds in our lives - we feel their heaviness, the density and we can trust that they will pass by.
The long arms of the ironwood tree danced in the wind with its long needle-fingers extended - reaching. I saw a man figure in one of the branches. I knew it was my imagination and looked away but I kept taking peeks - like when it’s hard to look away from scary things. He stood there ominously.
I drifted to sleep and was awakened (again) by gentle rain. I scurried into the tent. The wind made sounds and I could imagine animals sniffling outside of the tent. I slept on and off.
On one awakening, I noticed the rain had stopped so I went out and repositioned myself on the ground. I have a resistance to this. The tent feels safer, even though it’s a flimsy, kind of sad slouch of a tent. I have made a commitment to spend as much time sleeping directly on the earth - under the night sky - as possible. During my vision quest two years ago, I did not bring a tent and had one night in particular, where I got very cold and had to march and move in place for several hours. This is why I have the tent now - for rain - but besides that reason, I am committed to staying outside in the open. When I lay on the ground, I felt awake, due to the time change and started chanting mul (or muhl) mantra to the stars - the version that came to me was Paramjeet Singh & Kaur. (Forgive the you tube ad.) Oddly, I started coughing. It seemed to come out of no where. I would cough and then chant and then cough and then chant - perhaps it was a clearing of the throat chakra. A cleared chakra allows for honest and clear communication.
I don’t head back to the cabin until I can see the light of dawn starting to peek in the east. There is no clear pathway back and I navigate tall grasses and prickly flowers. I often chant as I go to not surprise the nocturnal pigs.
I made my way, swishing and swimming through the tall grass - swish, swish, swish. I heard a screech and looked up. The gray ow was flying overhead - screeched and flew a circle of observation above me and continued on its way. Thank you owl. Thank you for magic and the ability to see what others cannot. Was he thinking about eating me?
I started off with the cold shower and put the black beans on a low simmer. I’ve been working my way through my own “Read, Write & Release” workshop, today taking Class 10 - Inner Child. I’m enjoying my own class. I don’t feel as strong as I was just six months ago, before the traumatic tenant experience. I don’t feel as strong physically, emotionally or spiritually. It was interesting to learn from myself - a different Janet - one that felt confident in her practice.
Kriya: Navel Center and Elimination
Mantra: Morning Call (or Ek Ong Kar) with the music of Sat Kirin Kaur Khalsa, 7-wave Sat Nam
The other mantras that I do each day and likely won’t repeat all the time - Muhl mantra, Ganpati Mantra
Meal time: Black beans and corn tortillas with fresh cilantro from the food hub :) and salad greens from the food hub with scallions and purple onion. Olive oil and balsamic vinegar. No hot sauce to be found - bummer.
Inspiration: Coldplay on Jimmy Kimmel - wow
Janet, aren’t you distracting yourself by sharing this journal? probably. I hope you get something from it so that’s not true :) Love, Janet
