Light and Dark
HBO four-part docuseries on the dark side of kundalini yoga.
My earliest remembered dream is of a set of twins that were sitting on a bench in a shower. As they sat there, one of them transformed in front of my eyes into a monster. They started growing hair on their face and body, kind of like a werewolf. That dream has stuck with me for my whole life - I think because - while my dad was a twin in reality - I also see him as two people. One of him was a generous, enthusiastic business man and provider for his family and one was a monster inhabited by devil pig - my imaginary terrifying monster that I wrote about in my memoir - a creature that carried my fear. The devil pig part of him hurt me.
Why am I bringing this up now? Yogi Bhajan, the yogi that brought (or made up) Kundalini yoga from India in the 1960s, has been featured, along with Guru Jagat, founder of RAMA in the HBO’s Docuseries - Breath of Fire. The docuseries tells the story of the darker side of kundalini yoga. Yogi Bhajan, who died in 2004, was accused of sexual predatory behavior. 3HO, the organization that acts as an association for Kundalini Yoga, conducted an investigation with an outside party and concluded that the allegations were accurate. Yogi Bhajan used his power to coerce many followers into sexual interactions - some too young, too scared, too controlled, to tell anyone for many years. One of the victims of his power of abuse, Pamela Saharah Dyson, wrote a memoir, “Premka: White Bird in a Golden Cage.” Her sexual relationship resulted in a pregnancy that he forced her to abort. After her book, many other allegations came out. I’m not here to write about this - you can google it to find out more information. I’m writing because it puts into question one’s relationship with Kundalini Yoga.
As a Kundalini Yoga teacher - and a person that was sexually molested as a child, what does this mean for the practice? I found kundalini yoga when my 30-year relationship ended - I fell apart, my life crumbled and I needed something to get me through it. The disciplined sadhana practice continues to this day - six years later. It not only transformed my life - but saved my life. It held me safe as I embarked on my path of healing. The breathwork, movement, meditation and mantra are there for me - whenever I need them.
I never met Yogi Bhajan and never worshipped or followed him - I am completely on the outskirts of the community. I never met or followed Guru Jagat either. Can one teach Kundalini Yoga AND honor the people who were hurt by him? And the children that were sent away to school in India to often unsafe conditions?
I am able to separate the practice from the person - the good stuff from the bad - just like the twins in the nightmare - one turning into a monster before my eyes.
I will continue to practice and teach Kundalini Yoga AND honor and mourn what other practitioners have been through at the hands of Yogi Bhajan’s mis use of power. I will not pretend that it didn’t happen. I won’t look the other way.
When we scratch the surface of situations in our lives, another truth is revealed - and this is true with Kundalini Yoga and the yogi that started it - Yogi Bhajan. I’m sending my love to all that were hurt by him. You can watch the docuseries on HBO and find the memoir here.
Sat nam, for truth. Love, Janet
