Sometimes my house screams: Message from my smoke alarm

In my memoir, “Field Notes on Letting Go” an essay entitled “Healing Lessons from Home”, shared how my home embodied my released energies - giving me a literal manifestation of energetic release. The essay begins, “My house holds me. As I heal, it absorbs and facilitates the energetic movement and release to the outside. The house works with me to sort it all out, getting out of sync and then together again, like in waves, like reverberations. In tune and then out of tune and then in tune again. Energy within Energy. A breath within a breath.”

My healing home is embodying the lessons - another important message.

My house started screaming. It gave no warning. No announcement and no clue that a scream was ready to erupt. It may have been dust, a spider or an energy that set it off. And when one smoke alarm sounded - they all did - like cells of a body - interconnected and communicating with each other. Fight or flight - emergency. The scream, so loud, it alarmed the listener. But with such frequency, it became a scream with no comfort - a shriek with no hug - and eruption with no prevention - an alarm with no solution - no end to it - a continuous reverberating scream. Inconsolable.

A scream that when silent - was still a scream because its energy was tapped down but would certainly bubble up at some point - with no warning - no way to stop it - trauma.

At night, in bed, I started praying for a quiet night. This was especially true when I had other people in my home. “Please don’t alarm tonight. Please don’t alarm tonight.” I could feel my body tense, muscles stiffened, arms and shoulders tense - a pit in my stomach. Breathe Janet. I slept lightly and felt relief when morning came with no screams in the night. Tired. Not fully rested - not able to really relax peacefully.

I decided to have a conversation with the smoke alarm.

Eyes closed, slow breathing. I asked,

“Smoke Alarm. I hear you. You have my full attention. I feel you in every cell - in every muscle. In my gut. In my energy. Why are you screaming? Why? Why.? What do you need?”

I got an answer.

“The stress you feel going to sleep at night - praying for me to stay calm and quiet - praying for peace - praying for a peaceful night for visitors - the pit in your stomach; tears of frustration and anxiety, feeling powerless to stop my shriek. That feeling, Janet. That feeling - tingling nerves and fear -that is how you felt every single night in your home when you were a little child. Every single night you didn’t know if horror would come into your room — if devil pig would visit you. It’s important for you to know this now. It’s safe for you to know this now. It’s time for you to feel it - for little Janet - for all those nights where she had only her cat and spirit team to hold her safe.”

“We held you. We swept away the memories of your night time horror story. It’s time for you to know - to understand the energy and let it go. Release it from your cells, body, mind. This is our gift to you.”

Gentle tears emerged, in appreciation for the message. It will take some time to fully realize the impact of the communication and time to trust that it won’t scream again. It will take time to feel safe. It’s hard to accept how tough it was back then. Part of me doesn’t want to know. But it’s helpful to understand why sometimes at night I feel so scared. I feel so scared and I don’t know why. And I don’t know what to do about it. And as I cut back on sugar and food for comfort - It feels worse.

“Allow yourself to feel the energy. Notice that your personal peace takes a back seat to worrying about others in your home. Allow the shame you feel of the judgements from your house’ screams - from your childhood cries. Allow yourself to understand why you were your own smoke alarm at night. You shrieked. You howled. You cried and wept - but the nightmare persisted. An alarm with no solution. Inconsolable.”

I honor you buried memory. I honor you screaming home. And I honor you, little Janet - your inconsolable scream - that was still there - even when you were silent. You got through the night with your spirit team, cat and dreams. You left your body and went to safety.

“We held you then and we hold you now. You are protected dear Janet. And you are safe now.”

It’s been four days since our conversation and the house has not screamed. She is at peace , her message received.

Yes, I believe in magic.

I saged the house, releasing energy through open windows.

NOTE:

I’m required by the state of Massachusetts to have hard wired smoke detectors - detectors that are connected electronically. Mine are also blue tooth and when one goes off they all go off. This was required for my house to pass the fire inspection. The problem is that they are very sensitive. Dust, humidity or a spider can set it off. They started going off multiple times a day, setting off all of them - even in the night - even when I have Air BNB visitors in my home - looking to relax and get a good night’s sleep.